The Porter Dialogues

#1. Porter has recently discovered new found abilities in successfully bullying his little brother. He kicked Grady while Lane was at home with the kids and I was out. I got home just after the fact. Porter had already gotten into trouble from ol'Papa Bear but I needed to have a discussion with him as well.
Me:"That is so mean! You never ever kick Grady. What do you do instead?" (I'm thinking along the lines of hugs and kisses.
Porter: (he scrunches up one eye in serious contemplation and replies) "Spank him?"
Me: "NO!" I take a moment to fully absorb his response and then say, "Hugs and kisses!"
Porter: "Ooooh."
Geesh.

#2. We're eating macaroni and cheese. Lane forgets I only eat like a cow when I'm pregnant and makes me too much so I don't finish. Porter finishes every morsel. He comes up to me after I'm done and says, "Are you done?"
Me: "yep"
Porter: "You're not finished. Are you full?"
Me: "yes, I'm full."
He takes his four fingers and prods my belly twice.
Porter: "You don't feel full."
haha Maybe if I had a six pack I would feel full.

#3. I say to Lane, 'Merci', showing my thanks like the French do.
Porter: "What's merci?'
Me: "It means, 'thank you' in French."
Porter: "Oh. Merci, means spank you in French."

It seems like there's a lot of 'spank you very much' kind of stories (just in case that sounds bad, it's supposed to sound like 'thank you very much'). My babysitter said I could write a book with some of the things Porter comes up with and says. Agreed. Endearing and hilarious.