My Sunday Bloopers

Well, this past Sunday is what the Spaniards call, "LOCO!" My cousin was in town and was going to meet me at Church at 11:00 am. Lane was working that morning so I was cruising around and multi-tasking like a chimp. I just cannot seem to conquer it. I see a gnat and say, 'A gnat!' It's not that bad; I hope. Exaggeration folks! Well, I got out the door at 11:00 am instead of being at the Church at 11 am. I'm cruising down the road I like to call the 'I-tardy'.

Then I remember I have a movie due back at Blockbuster at noon. Curse them for their new 2 day policy. They take the 48 hours seriously! Now I have an errand I have to do or be penalized. The only thing to help this situation is speed like demon. I'm cruising to Mckenzie Towne when a cop steps onto the road and waves me to pull over. I should've floored it and faced the consequences later. Kidding! It wasn't Lane and this guy looked big and tough. As I rolled down my window and waited I started to sweat and began thinking of my pathetic plea I was going to give. I've been practising my speech for years now and all of a sudden it seemed really retarded. 'Officer, I should've known better! My husband is a police officer.'

I look at him guilty and then realize...it's Lane's partner! He said he was all excited because before he knew it was me he thought he was going to get a good one (if that explains how fast I was going). Then I hear Lane's laughing. He was in the second unmarked car beside his partner's police car. I was a joke to liven their day when they realize it's 'Trim's wife'.

I got off with a warning and continue on after being pulled over by the coppers. I pull up to Blockbuster and practically leap off my seat. Unfortunately, I am still a chub-chub from the baby and was wearing a jean skirt that was too tight. I had no feeling left in my butt so how was I to gauge where it swings?! I hit the door lock. I realized it before it was too late but this van is still new to me and as I was in a haste and couldn't find the unlock button fast enough, I just left the door open. As I took a few steps to the other side of the vehicle to get the movie out, my door closed! Locked out of the van with the two kids inside! Oh no! I ask Porter to open the door but he's strapped in, never opened a van door and laughing hysterically. No help at all. I can't remember Lane's number in his car. I go into Blockbuster and start using their phone and call the same three friends a few times each. I finally start leaving messgaes that go a little something like this, 'This is Stacey. I am stranded at Blockbuster and locked out of my car. I know you probably think you have a late movie because it's Blockbuster but you don't...I think. Please pick up your phone!'

Nobody picks up. I finally call the police station and get someone who will give me Lane's number. Then I call Lane and he leaves his post to come unlock the van for me.

As he unlocks the van from his car I can see him giving me a thumbs up for encouragement but the embarassment is shining through. Now his partner who just pulled me over hears I just locked myself out of the car. But I swear I am a genius!

I made it to Church at the ripe time of 11:45. My cousin thought she was in the wrong ward. Thankfully, she stuck it out and waited. In the end, we crowned the day with a warm bowl of Mac n'cheese and then the world became right again. The end.