The Porter Dialogues

#1. Porter has recently discovered new found abilities in successfully bullying his little brother. He kicked Grady while Lane was at home with the kids and I was out. I got home just after the fact. Porter had already gotten into trouble from ol'Papa Bear but I needed to have a discussion with him as well.
Me:"That is so mean! You never ever kick Grady. What do you do instead?" (I'm thinking along the lines of hugs and kisses.
Porter: (he scrunches up one eye in serious contemplation and replies) "Spank him?"
Me: "NO!" I take a moment to fully absorb his response and then say, "Hugs and kisses!"
Porter: "Ooooh."
Geesh.

#2. We're eating macaroni and cheese. Lane forgets I only eat like a cow when I'm pregnant and makes me too much so I don't finish. Porter finishes every morsel. He comes up to me after I'm done and says, "Are you done?"
Me: "yep"
Porter: "You're not finished. Are you full?"
Me: "yes, I'm full."
He takes his four fingers and prods my belly twice.
Porter: "You don't feel full."
haha Maybe if I had a six pack I would feel full.

#3. I say to Lane, 'Merci', showing my thanks like the French do.
Porter: "What's merci?'
Me: "It means, 'thank you' in French."
Porter: "Oh. Merci, means spank you in French."

It seems like there's a lot of 'spank you very much' kind of stories (just in case that sounds bad, it's supposed to sound like 'thank you very much'). My babysitter said I could write a book with some of the things Porter comes up with and says. Agreed. Endearing and hilarious.

My Life.

Yesterday: Porter has to take an emergency pee in the parking lot of Michaels. Thank goodness he's a boy. They are truly blessed in the emergency urinary situations and of course vacation road stops.
We make it into Michaels and buy Porter some 'Lellow' paint. We leave Michaels. Enter van. Proceed to exit onto Deerfoot. Porter exclaims, 'I have to peee!'
I say, 'You just went!'
He says, 'I have to gooo!'
There is no where to pull over but the next exit takes us to a friends house. We're driving. He doesn't say a word. The panic is lifted from the atmosphere. We pull up to the house and he I hear unintelligable whining. I run from my side to his side and start to unbuckle his car seat where he suddenly gets a worried look and pees right there in the car seat. I whip him out mid-relief and whip down his pants in the hopes to get most of it not in the van. He finishes off what's left on the sidewalk in front of my friend's neighbor's house. Lovely.
This middle aged woman is going for a nice spring walk when Porter turns around, shows her the family jewels without caring and she sees the wet puddle on the sidewalk. She stops short and crosses the road to the other side. Every second I jump between laughing and being utterly embarassed. I put Porter back in the wet car seat and we drive home.
I throw him in the tub and give Grady something to eat. Grady smears jam and banana in his hair, the food equivalent of cement. I throw him in the tub. Within two minutes Grady poops in the tub where both boys are sitting, full of their bath toys. It is disgusting. It is revolting. I want to punch a wall. DISGUSTING!
I am shocked. I utter some sounds of disgust and whip the boys out of the tub, speedily fish out their toys and empty the tub. Grady is freaking out at this point. I run downstairs and start to wash the tub. We lost Grady's soother at the farmer's market earlier that day and so he just continues to scream, naked but thankfully not peeing anywhere else (probably all in the tub upstairs). Porter tells me Grady is crying because I hurt his feelings. Well, I'm sorry Grady. You get the idea. This was my night, alone with Taz and Mania.
Here's where the story changes. This morning, Porter wakes up and comes into my room telling me he has something to show me. He has made his bed without me even asking and it looks fantastic! Grady is really cuddly and all smiles. He lays his head down on my shoulder and happily eats. Porter and Grady merrily laugh and joke around all through breakfast. The only time they stopped was when I tried to videotape it. We got to Church, visit friends, Porter watches veggie tales, I study for an exam, Grady takes a nap. Lane wakes up and makes a wicked batch of Macaroni and Cheese. Grady goes to bed like an angel after giving me lots and lots of kisses. Porter walks around in his underwear.
'Porter, where are you clothes? Why are you in your underwear?!'
'Mom, I'm getting in my pajamas.'
Wow. What a great child I have to call my own. He gets in his jammies, washes his hands and draws an Easter card for Grandma. I wash his face, brush his teeth, read stories and we cuddle. He loves to fall asleep in my bed and most often I am happy to oblige. He tells me he wants to sing a song to me. He then tells me he needs to stand up on my bed and sing the song so he can see himself in the mirror. Sure, sure, go ahead sweetie.
It goes a little something like this:
I looove my family.
Yes, I doo-oo.
I love Daddy and Grady and youuuu too.
I have to hiccup.
I love my mommy from here to the moon,
from here to the moon,
from here to the moon.
---'Porter I love your song! It's the prettiest song I've ever heard!'
--'Mom, I'm not finished yet.'
--'Oh, sorry Porter.'
From here to the moon,
from here to the moon and back again.
This song is called I love Mommy.

Perfect? I think so. Anyone who disputes is garbage to me. It's amazing the ups and downs of being a Mom. Sometimes it is so overwhelming and hard, and I seem to focus on self pitying and wallowing in my frustration and then it turns around and the little people you love so much show you what it means to them to be loved by you.

Can we go to the Mountains?

I love warm weather or should I say warm(er) weather? I had so much more energy and was more motivated to do fun stuff with the boys. I wanted them to see the whole world (minus the house and every detail of it) and of course by Grady's nap time.
Porter wanted to hang out with some miniature buddies his size. There were no friends available. I looked high and low and then he started to cry from disappointment. Earlier that day, while driving around, I told him to look at the mountains and see how beautiful they were. Then he said, 'Lets go to the mountains mom'. Well, when the tears pulled at momma's ol' heart strings, I said, 'Porter, hey! We can go the mountains!' He was cheered.
We drove for over half an hour talking about the big hills and noticing how the mountains were getting bigger and closer. oooh. We pulled over at Allen Bill Pond. I put Grady in the snugli and Porter and I took a hike into nature's heart (aka always within view of our van). I actually got a little freaked out because there was a truck there but nobody around and I didn't have a cell phone. For a short while I thought what if someone or something attacks and no one knows we're out here. My crazy mind thought of that young folk singer who was killed by coyotes! Thankfully, we made it out safe and sound while having a rockin'awesome time being outside without Grady having snotsicles form. What a blessing. Good riddance you annoying snow and bring on the good times with my two little dudes.

Porter with Grandma in Mind

1)

Grandma Gooding:

"Porter I love you."
Porter:
"I love me too".
What a guy. :) This is a very good thing. It's a good thing to love who you are. I think children can be crazy, but they understand the world sometimes so much better than we do OR it takes us years into adulthood to realize the same thing we knew as children. I'll remind Porter if he ever forgets. You never realize honesty is hilarious until you talk with a four year old.
2)

I'm brushing Porter's teeth. It feels as though it's torture for both him and me. In my mind, I feel like I am having instant skin degradation and aging from the stress and chemical reaction of my negative thoughts killing my healthy...something, that produces youthful skin. Seriously though, I look in the mirror after and I could swear I look older. While he's screaming during the toothbrushing tonight he says, "GRANDMA IS GOING TO BE SO ANGRY TO YOU!!!" He's probably right. In retrospect, I should've told him, 'Bring it'.
3)

Grandma reads Porter the story, 'I will always love you'. It's about a little boy who always finds mischief. For example, 'Dad, if I get one of your shirts and make a jam sandwich and get jam all over your shirt, will you still love me?' Response: 'I won't like that you got jam all over my shirt but I will always love you. I will teach you to respect other people's belongings and then teach you how to wash the shirt but I will always love you.'
After reading the book, he says to Grandma Gooding, 'Will you always love me Grandma?'
Grandma: 'I will always love you', as she wells up with tears. What a baby my mom can be. ;) It was adorable though.

Disclaimer: I wish I had a better recent picture of the two. I don't know if my mom would love this photo, her hair and make up are not done. Still beautiful to moi.

Positive Attitude

I have been inspired to write a blog post by my dear, dear husband.He has such a gift for a positive attitude. Let me illustrate: I weighed myself in the hopes of seeing progress for the baby weight loss, not too bad. Lane gets on there and the weigh scale reads: 193 lbs. He gets off, moans and says, 'I'm so fat!' No more than 3 seconds later he gets a bright smile on his face and exclaims, '200 pounds of solid love! Can you handle it?!' He kind of sounded like a loud loco that you witness on television from a football game but I could not stop laughing.My response to his inquiry is, 'I'll try.'

I would like to do something for you Mom...

I was cuddling with Porter as a routine part of bedtime. This pretty much consists of me laying beside him while he talks, plays pretends, goofs around, whichever option he chooses and then I usually laugh or on occasion leave, after having my nose rammed with his head.

Tonight, he was just talking to me, sharing his thoughts. He said, "Mom. (pause) I want to do something for you. Like a castle." So I said, "What do you want to do with this castle? Do you want to build me a castle?"

His reply, "Yep."

That's muh boy! He's so sweet and thoughtful by nature. In 20 years, I'll send a notice to my neighbors to move aside for the big leagues and make room for my new castle that my strapping son is building for me!

Ape Appreciation Yo

I just watched 'Gorillas in the Mist', which is a film based off of the journals of Dian Fossey, a researcher and conservationist of Mountain Gorillas. Watching the movie reminded me of the need and the interest I have in conservation. I think the first step is becoming more educated on it.

I took a Primatology class at the U of C in 2007. The first half of the semester was mediocre to lame-o and then the tides took a turn, my friends. Brian Keating, head of the Conservation department at the Calgary Zoo taught the second half of the semester. He is truly a great teacher. He makes students not just learn but love what they learn and want to practice and act upon what they learn. I learned that problems for endangered species isn't just because of poaching or pollution, the majority of the problem is land conservation. They can try to preserve as many of any given species as possible but what good does it do if they have no where to live, to reproduce, to eat their natural foods?

I never thought I was a monkey or ape person, as in I never thought about them in any given moment; however, everything changes when you learn about it. My favorite great ape is the mountain gorilla, followed by the orangutan. Two things I would like to experience in my life time are going to the Borneo orangutan preserve and to Rwanda to witness a gorilla family for a day (or more). :)

Learning about these animals has given me a new and unrealized appreciation for Heavenly Father's creations. They really are remarkable. I am in 'awesome wonder' with these animal. To think I previously couldn't even stand a domestic cat coming near me! Actually, I still can't stand cats coming near me (they seem a bit tricky) and while I'm at it, I'll add squirrels to the mix. They seems a bit edgey.

Joking and admittances aside, everyone at point or another is impressed by some diverse and exotic animal. I think the second part of that is also seeing things with a fuller perspective, that is seeing Heavenly Father's hand in everything. By doing this, we learn and appreciate them as one of His creations. In fact, when we acknowledge His hand in all parts of our life, it always gives greater understanding.

The Calgary Zoo has tonnes of opportunities and information on conservation. They're part of an accredited zoo program that makes it possible for them to breed with animals from other zoos instead of taking them from the wild. They are also committed to donating money and research for conservation around the world to protect endangered species in their natural habitat.

Other good places to look are:

http://www.gorillafund.org/

http://www.janegoodall.org/

http://www.orangutan.org/

These three webites were all created because of three women known as Leakey's angels. Louis Leakey, a renowned anthropologist, hired three women: Dian Fossey to study Gorillas, Jane Goodall to study Chimpanzees and Birute Galdikas to study Orangutans. Their work is what has saved these species to the present day.